Lessons in Change

The past eight months has brought about a lot of change for our family.  If you would have told me, “this is going to happen, and then this, and then this, and then this…” I would have asked you to space them out a bit, and to give me some time to process it all so I could respond from a place of knowing.  But.  Life had different plans.  

And it turns out, Life knew it would be okay all along.  

Here is much of what I have learned:

1.  When “lack of time” is your biggest obstacle to happiness, you have to seriously consider how to create more time.  

2.  Number 1 is actually possible.

3.  Fears can hinder you as long as you allow them to, but when the fear of staying the same is greater than the fear of change, it is time to take the leap toward change  (p.s. fear of staying the same is not easily seen as such, and disguises itself as irritability, disconnection, frustration, discontentment, resentment…). 

4.  If you are in need of change, first take a good look in the mirror.  Make the changes you need to make to your life to make sure you are taking “you” out of the picture.  Are you hindering yourself from your own happiness?  Are there things you can do better to allow for more joy, to allow for more connection with those you love, to manage your time more wisely?  And when you put these things into place, and still feel ready for change, then you will know it is for reasons other than “you”.   And these skills are ones you can take with you anyway ;)

5. Complaining doesn’t create change.   

6.  Sometimes that thing that seem impossible to do just needs to be rephrased into being that thing that will provide you the greatest relief once done.

7.  I never let myself attach too firmly to my profession, I did not want to be defined by it, nor confined by it.  But when I took a course that encouraged me to make a pie chart of where my time was being spent, I could not complete the simple assignment because of the reality it presented me with.  I was not living my values.  And it took me a whole year to summon the courage to consider doing something about it.

8.  Money is an issue, yes … but there are more ways to approach it than you initially think.

9.  Sometimes your soul leads you where you should go while your heart and your gut argue in the background.  

10.  The only permanent thing is impermanence.

11.  Change is stagnant’s only prevention.  

12.  Change is really occurring every second, not in the big chunks that we so readily want to blame it for. 

13.  Acceptance of #12 is essential to spiritual growth.  

14.  As it turns out, feeling “green” and “vulnerable” and like you are "starting all over again", is just a feeling.  It is not The End. 

15.  With a little life experience to lean on, you realize you aren’t supposed to know it all in the beginning.  Hence “practice”.  Hence “learning”.  Hence “growth”. 

16.  A good dose of nature always helps put things in perspective, and finds a way to help you arrive wherever it is you need to go. 

17.  The kids really will adapt, especially when “change” can be emphasized as “adventure”, and when Family Movie Nights can still happen. 

18.  Sometimes the “worst case scenario” morphs into a means of possibility when you are willing to look hard at your resistance around it.  

19.  Wisdom of real-estate: Things will work out as they should (p.s. turns out they’re right).

20.  Big life changes make you realize the worth of the support of family and friends around you.

 © Houseman 2013